Goals: How to Build Confidence With Small Wins

I’ve run a successful e-commerce business for 30 years, authored a book, and impacted the lives of 100,000 couples. Despite these accomplishments, for years I carried simmering feelings of inadequacy, like I’m behind schedule, letting someone down, or not achieving enough.

Such feelings are common among entrepreneurs and high achievers. You’d think success would quiet that inner voice saying, “It’s never enough,” but it doesn’t.

After years of that background noise, I emerged from the COVID-19 pandemic depleted and realized I wasn’t in love with my business. Something had to change. Here’s how I changed it.

One word a day

Your first instinct may be to try to outwork feelings of inadequacy. I tried blocking time for high-priority tasks, scheduling them as appointments with myself, and blowing through them. I was either reacting to other people’s priorities or caught in a constant stream of small tasks that consumed my entire day.

The turning point came from an unlikely place: A book club discussion section in The Dictionary of Lost Words. The author, Pip Williams, described her writing process: one word per day. Such a small goal that she couldn’t not do it. Some days that’s all she wrote. Other days, once she started, she wrote much more.

Adopt the principle of consistently achievable micro goals as your mantra.